You smell like stripper and shame
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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