I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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