office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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