my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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