You don't have asthma, your pregnant
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
