I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
