You work out of a Hotel?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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