If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
