My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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