I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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