I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
