love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
