he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
