Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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