yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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