just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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