Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
