so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my shit smells like andre
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
