you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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