I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
