physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
