if i can run in heels then i can drive
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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