From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
