We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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