Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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