remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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