thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
