Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
