I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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