Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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