My first STD was from a foam party
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize