you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
