Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
