Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
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