There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
