lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
