thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
