I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
