they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
