never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
