He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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