is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
