I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
