I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
