so explain again why im purple
no
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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