Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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