Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
