Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
