haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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