Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Randomize
