he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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