Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
