I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
