I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
