Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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