Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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