You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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