i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize