I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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