I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize