She is in my trunk
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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