Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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