i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
