Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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