I didn't shave. On purpose
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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