It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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