Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
