i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
